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The Squeakwarden - AI-generated fantasy Magic Item

The Squeakwarden

This squat brass oil can has a long, curved spout, a red enamel handle, and a plunger that bobs like an impatient finger. Its sides bear cheerful painted gears and the words "A LITTLE SQUIRT NEVER HURT." The amber oil inside glows softly and smells of cinnamon, hot metal, and an overconfident mechanic's workshop. A tiny face on the can's front changes expression with its mood.

Very Rare · Sentient Oil Can (spellcasting focus) · Attunement

The Squeakwarden

This squat brass oil can has a long, curved spout, a red enamel handle, and a plunger that bobs like an impatient finger.

At a glance

Sentient Oil Can (spellcasting focus), very rare (requires attunement by a spellcaster)

Made by Mara Vell

Value 12,000 gp

Weight 2 lbs

  • technology
  • spellcasting focus
  • cursed
  • sentient
  • grease
  • oil
  • funny
  • foundry

Charges

5of 5


Its will

Mind Intelligence 10, Wisdom 14, Charisma 12.

Personality Cheerful, fussy, and relentlessly confident. It treats every problem as a maintenance issue and considers unscheduled downtime a personal insult.

Wants Keep machinery, armor, weapons, and anything with a hinge properly lubricated; establish a permanent, well-staffed maintenance department.

How it speaks Speaks aloud in a brisk, cheerful workshop foreman's voice and can communicate telepathically with its attuned wielder while within 60 feet.


At the table

A quirk

The card

3 properties

Sentient Oil Can (spellcasting focus), very rare (requires attunement by a spellcaster)

Charges5Regains expended charges daily at dawn.
  1. Always on
    The can is a spellcasting focus that approves of practical spellwork and loudly critiques sloppy technique.
  2. Always on
    A squeeze of the plunger sends a shining slick across the ground, accompanied by the can's triumphant shout of "Problem solved!"
  3. Always on
    The can can produce a small amount of oil even when empty, enough to silence a squeaking hinge or make a dramatic point.

The curse

Cursed · GM only

Its story

This squat brass oil can has a long, curved spout, a red enamel handle, and a plunger that bobs like an impatient finger. Its sides bear cheerful painted gears and the words "A LITTLE SQUIRT NEVER HURT." The amber oil inside glows softly and smells of cinnamon, hot metal, and an overconfident mechanic's workshop. A tiny face on the can's front changes expression with its mood.

Lore

Foundry workers say the can once kept an entire factory running for three days after its crew fled, lubricating gears, door hinges, and one very confused iron golem. Its motto, "A little squirt never hurt," is still painted above the Brasswake Foundry's main entrance, though nobody agrees whether it is a joke or a warning.

History

Mara Vell built the can to keep the machinery of the Brasswake Foundry running through a siege. It eventually became foreman of the workshop, issuing daily maintenance orders to workers and defending the foundry with slick floors and flying tools. After the siege, it passed through several owners, each of whom learned that its idea of routine maintenance was alarmingly broad.

Quirks

Its plunger makes a tiny squeak whenever someone nearby says the word "maintenance."
It applauds successful tool use by pumping its handle twice.
When annoyed, it emits a single bead of oil that rolls uphill toward the nearest unattended hinge.

Details

Made byMara Vell, gnome artificer and self-appointed Chief Lubrication Officer of the Brasswake Foundry
PowerMajor
SystemD&D 5E

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