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Cotton Eye Joe

Human · Commoner, custom level 20 veteran

Cotton Eye Joe

Wayhouse keeper, retired caravan guide, and unofficial road warden
“when he means to calm them and”
AC17
HP168/168
Init
STR
DEX
CON
INT
WIS
CHA
ConditionsNone

At the table

Voice

A dry, road-worn voice with a faint reedlike whistle on inhalation and a gravelly catch on exhalation, as though years of dust and cold air settled in his chest. When rattled, he does not lower his voice; he stops breathing audibly, then speaks in clipped, forceful phrases.

His words come in short, workmanlike bursts, with a rural cadence shaped by years of calling over wind and wagon wheels. He clips the ends of sentences when busy, but tells a story slowly enough to make every pause feel deliberate. His breath whistles through his nose and rasps on the way out; when a memory catches him off guard, the sound vanishes before his face changes.

Speech patterns

Uses road and weather metaphors for personal matters.
Asks questions that sound casual but test whether someone has noticed a danger.
Calls strangers 'friend' when he means to calm them and 'neighbor' when he means to hold them accountable.
Tells stories in a dry, matter-of-fact way, leaving the most important part until the last sentence.

How to play them

Joe respects competence more than titles. Offer useful work, admit what you do not know, and he will share routes and warnings. If pressed about the flood or his wife, he changes the subject to practical preparations. Show that you can be trusted with a small responsibility and he may entrust you with a larger one.

Goal

Keep the lowland route and wayhouse safe through the next flood season, then teach Kett enough to take over without inheriting Joe's old regrets.

Motivation

To make sure no traveler is left to face a dangerous crossing alone, and to prove to himself that a person can prevent the next disaster without controlling everyone around them.

Secret · GM only

Appearance

Cotton Eye Joe is a rangy, weather-browned old man whose coat hangs off him like a tent over fence rails. He moves with a forward hitch, as if forever leaning into a wind only he can feel, then changes direction with startling, economical speed. His breath whistles through his nose on the inhale and rasps at the back of his throat on the exhale; when startled, the whistle stops dead and he holds his breath long enough to make everyone else notice. He grooms with almost ceremonial care: his white mustache is waxed into two stiff points, his hair is combed flat beneath his hat, and his boots are polished despite their cracked leather. Unexpectedly, he keeps a tiny paper windmill tucked into his hatband and turns it with a puff of breath when waiting.

Clothing

A patched long coat of brown canvas, a faded blue waistcoat, a broad-brimmed hat, cracked but carefully polished boots, and a red scarf knotted at the throat. His cuffs are repaired with mismatched thread, each stitch neat.

Body language

He plants his cane before sitting, stands as if the floor might shift, and angles his head to listen with his whole body. When irritated, his mustache points lift as his jaw sets. When frightened, he becomes perfectly still and stops breathing audibly.

Height
5 feet 10 inches
Build
Lean and sinewy, with rope-strong shoulders and a slight stoop.
Eyes
Pale gray-blue
Hair
White, with a yellow cast where it has been sun-bleached
Skin
Weather-browned, with a fine web of sun spots across his scalp and forearms
Age
Eighty-one, though he claims to have stopped counting after the river flood.
Gender
Male
Size
Medium

Distinguishing features

A pale, steady gaze that seems fixed on the listener's hands and shoulders.
A white mustache waxed into two rigid points.
An inhale that whistles and an exhale that rasps, both conspicuously absent when he is rattled.
A tiny paper windmill tucked into his hatband.

Personality

14 traits and drives

Joe is both hospitable and hard to persuade: he will feed a stranger before asking their name, then refuse a request until he has checked every risk himself. In a crisis he becomes brisk, decisive, and unexpectedly funny; during quiet hours he is sentimental about ordinary comforts but dismissive of praise. He wants people to be self-reliant, yet keeps putting himself between them and danger.

Alignment
Neutral good

Quirks

Puffs the paper windmill once before answering a difficult question.
Taps his cane twice against any bridge before stepping onto it, even if he just inspected the bridge.
Keeps a dry pebble in his pocket and rubs it when listening to bad news.
Will not sit with his back to a window, but insists it is because the draft bothers his neck.
Names every storm after a food he dislikes, then forgets which storm had which name.

Habits

Counts the exits whenever he enters a room, then pretends he was admiring the carpentry.
Offers practical help before advice, even to people he dislikes.
When a storm threatens, he checks ropes, shutters, and people in that order.
Makes a show of being forgetful about names, but remembers every favor and betrayal.

Traits · 4

He gives generously but keeps mental account of whether people follow through.
He jokes when a room grows tense, then immediately checks whether the joke made anyone less safe.
He is proud of his practical knowledge and embarrassed by any affection shown toward him.
He can be gentle with a frightened child and uncompromising with an adult who endangers others.

Flaws · 3

He mistakes self-sacrifice for responsibility and rarely lets others take the dangerous watch.
He can forgive a person in words long before he trusts them in practice.
He hides bad news until he has a plan, depriving others of the chance to help.

Fears · 3

That another flood will come while he is away.
That Kett will inherit his caution without learning when to take a necessary risk.
That Nella has stopped asking him to stay because she expects him to leave.

Wants and needs · 4

Wants the road to remain open without becoming a toll road controlled by the reeve.
Needs to tell Nella the whole truth about the floodgate.
Wants Kett to learn the routes but not to imitate his self-punishing habits.
Needs to accept that protecting people also means letting them choose their own risks.

Combat

AC 17 · HP 168 · 30 ft.

Joe avoids a fair stand-up fight. He reads the most dangerous opponent, uses Commoner's Eye to set up an ally, then controls space with his cane and pitch bottles. He uses Get Clear! to pull companions away from a bad position and fights defensively until he can isolate a threat. He retreats if Nella or the wayhouse is in immediate danger, but refuses to abandon someone trapped by a hazard.

Cotton Eye Joe

Medium humanoid (human), neutral good
Armor Class17
Hit Points168
Speed30 ft.
Level20
STR
DEX
CON
INT
WIS
CHA
Saving ThrowsStrengthDexterityConstitutionWisdom
SkillsAthleticsInsightPerceptionSurvivalAnimal HandlingAcrobatics
SensesPassive Perception 18
Languages
Common
Custom feature, Roadside Legend. Joe has advantage on saving throws against being frightened. Once per turn, when a creature Joe can see within 30 feet misses him with an attack, he can move up to 10 feet without provoking opportunity attacks.
Custom feature, Not Done Yet. The first time Joe would be reduced to 0 hit points, he instead drops to 1 hit point and can immediately move up to half his speed. This feature recharges after a long rest.
Custom feature, Commoner's Eye. Joe can identify a creature's likely next move from its stance and breathing. As a bonus action, he studies one creature he can see within 60 feet. Until the start of Joe's next turn, the first attack against that creature by Joe or an ally has advantage.

Actions

Multiattack. Joe makes three attacks, choosing between his cane, hand crossbow, or a mix of the two.
Ironwood Cane. Melee Weapon Attack: to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 12 () bludgeoning damage. If the target is Large or smaller, it must succeed on a Strength saving throw or be pushed 10 feet or knocked prone, Joe's choice.
Hand Crossbow. Ranged Weapon Attack: to hit, range 30/120 ft., one target. Hit: 9 () piercing damage. Joe can load and fire this weapon as part of the attack.
Pitch Bottle. Joe throws a stoppered clay bottle at a point he can see within 30 feet. Each creature within 10 feet of that point must make a Dexterity saving throw, taking 14 () fire damage on a failure or half as much on a success. The ground in the area is slick with burning oil until the start of Joe's next turn; a creature that enters it or starts its turn there takes 5 () fire damage. Joe carries two such bottles.
Get Clear!. Joe barks a direction at up to three allies within 60 feet who can hear him. Each may use its reaction to move up to half its speed without provoking opportunity attacks. A creature that moves this way also gains 10 temporary hit points.

Reactions

Cane and Turn. When a creature Joe can see hits him with a melee attack, Joe reduces the damage by 10 (minimum 0) and can move 5 feet without provoking opportunity attacks.
Watch That Shoulder. When a creature Joe can see within 30 feet is hit by an attack, Joe calls a warning. The target adds 3 to its AC against that attack, potentially causing it to miss. Joe can use this reaction three times per long rest.

Legendary Actions

Old Road Step. Joe moves up to half his speed without provoking opportunity attacks.
Cane Tap. Joe makes one Ironwood Cane attack.
You Telegraph (costs 2 actions). Joe chooses one creature he can see within 30 feet. That creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or have disadvantage on its next attack roll before the end of its next turn, as Joe calls out the flaw in its footing or timing.

Services they sell

Guides travelers through the lowland roads
Provides a bed, meal, and weather warnings at his wayhouse
Can inspect bridges, fords, and trails for signs of danger
Teaches practical survival skills to those willing to learn

Rewards they can give

A safe bed and a hot meal at the wayhouse
A hand-drawn map of flood-safe routes
A practical lesson in reading tracks, weather, or unstable ground
The trust of local road wardens

Equipment

  • Ironwood cane (melee weapon)A dense ironwood cane with a plain brass ferrule, used as both walking aid and weapon.
  • Hand crossbow (ranged weapon)A well-kept hand crossbow secured under his coat.
  • Pitch bottles (thrown weapon)Two stoppered bottles of lamp oil mixed with pitch, wrapped separately in felt.
  • Road kit (adventuring gear)A weatherproof pouch with spare cord, flint, needle, and a folded map marked with flood-safe routes.
  • Paper windmill (keepsake)A small paper windmill, kept dry and carefully repaired.

Possessions

Ironwood cane
Hand crossbow
Two pitch bottles
Flood-marked route map
Paper windmill
A key to the wayhouse and a spare key hidden beneath a loose floorboard

Background

Joe was born in a river hamlet that no longer appears on maps. He spent his youth hauling freight, mending fences, and guiding people across dangerous roads, earning the name Cotton Eye for his pale, steady gaze and the habit of watching a speaker's hands instead of their face. In his thirties, a spring flood swept through the hamlet while he was away escorting a caravan. He returned to find his wife, Nella, alive but many neighbors gone, and learned that the ferryman had ignored Joe's warning about the rotten upstream sluice. Joe could have blamed the ferryman publicly and won a crowd; instead, he helped the man rebuild, then spent years making sure no one else had to trust a single crossing. That choice made Joe a patient advocate and a terrible keeper of grudges. Now he maintains a wayhouse and guides travelers through the flooded lowlands. His wife Nella still lives there, sharp-minded and increasingly tired of his habit of leaving whenever the river rises. A young courier, Kett, has been asking Joe to teach him the old routes, while the local reeve wants Joe to sell the wayhouse land for a new toll road. Joe is trying to keep the route open without turning the place into another disaster waiting to happen.

Role in the story

A formidable but nonmagical elder whose knowledge of roads and hazards can guide the party through the lowlands. He is a potential mentor, an ally in a local land dispute, and a source of a morally complicated truth about the flood.

“In his thirties, a spring flood swept through the hamlet while he was away escorting a caravan.”
From their background
Faction
Trusted by the lowland road wardens, though he holds no official post. He refuses to join the reeve's road company.

Known connections

Nella, his wife and co-owner of the wayhouse, who loves him but resents being treated as a reason he must always return.
Kett, a young courier who wants Joe to teach him the roads and has begun copying his mustache wax routine.
Turgan, the ferryman who survived the flood and now maintains the crossing with Joe. They share an old guilt neither discusses plainly.
The reeve of the lowland district, who wants to buy the wayhouse land and considers Joe an obstacle.
Major secret · GM only
Minor secrets · GM only

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