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Bartleby Glimmerwhistle - AI-generated fantasy NPC

Bartleby Glimmerwhistle

Rock Gnome · Commoner (Expert) · Level 0

Bartleby Glimmerwhistle

Former Sous-Chef and Alley Informant
“That armor is over-polished, lacks character, like a bland broth...”
AC12
HP4/4
Init
STR
DEX
CON
INT
WIS
CHA
ConditionsNone

At the table

“The Palate never lies”
From how they speak

Voice

A high-pitched, sand-paper rasp that sounds like a whisk on a copper bowl.

Raspy and punctuated by wet coughs: he uses high-concept culinary terminology to describe everyday objects, such as calling a puddle a 'failed reduction'.

Speech patterns

Starts every sentence with a critique: 'That armor is over-polished, lacks character, like a bland broth...'
Refers to players as 'Apprentices' or 'Waitstaff'.
Uses the phrase 'The Palate never lies' as a mantra.

How to play them

He will initially try to intimidate the players with his 'knowledge', then quickly pivot to begging or bribery once they show power.

Goal

To successfully plant the rotten meat in the VIP freezer to cause a massive food poisoning scandal.

Motivation

To see Chef Valerius humiliated and stripped of his culinary stars, even if Barty has to burn the whole street down to do it.

Secret · GM only

Appearance

A hunched, soot-stained figure who smells of damp earth and rancid fat. Barty moves with a nervous, scuttling gait that mimics the vermin he shares his alley with. His most striking feature is his hands, they are webbed with thick, glossy keloid scars from old burns, rendering his fingers stiff and gnarled. In strange contrast to his filth, he wears a pristine, silver tasting spoon on a cord around his neck, which he polishes obsessively with a scrap of silk.

Clothing

A tattered, formerly white chef's tunic that is now a map of stains, oversized wool trousers tied with twine, and shoes made of wrapped burlap.

Body language

Twitches his nose constantly like a rodent: hides his hands in his sleeves whenever he feels threatened or ashamed.

Height
3 feet 1 inch
Build
Wizened and gaunt
Eyes
Watery hazel with flecks of gold
Hair
Thinning, oily grey
Skin
Leathery tan, obscured by grease and ash
Age
112 years
Gender
Male
Size
Small

Distinguishing features

Severe burn scars covering both hands up to the wrists
A missing left earlobe
A silver tasting spoon worn as a holy relic
Nails that are perpetually stained yellow from onion juice and nicotine

Personality

12 traits and drives

Barty is a man of dualities: he is pathetically submissive to anyone he perceives as a 'gastronomic superior,' yet he is a vicious, foul-mouthed critic of the mediocre. He speaks of the culinary arts with a religious fervor, but his current existence is one of scavenged scraps. He is deeply paranoid, believing every stray cat in the alley is a spy sent by his former mentor.

Alignment
Chaotic Neutral

Quirks

He constantly 'tastes' the air, identifying ingredients used in the restaurant across the street by scent alone.
He speaks to his silver spoon as if it were a companion named 'Saccharina'.
He creates elaborate, tiny sculptures out of discarded bones and toothpicks.

Habits

Counts the crates during every delivery to the restaurant.
Paces exactly twelve steps to the left and right of his alley crate when agitated.
Hides in a barrel if he sees a man in a chef's hat.

Traits · 3

Incurably bitter regarding his lost status
Meticulously observant of professional etiquette while looking like a beggar
Secretly lonely and desperate for someone to talk to about seasoning

Flaws · 3

Physical inability to perform fine motor tasks with his hands
Overwhelming jealousy of anyone who currently owns a kitchen
Prone to loud, screeching rants that blow his cover

Fears · 3

Open flames
Being forgotten entirely by the culinary world
The health inspectors

Wants and needs · 3

Vengeance against Valerius
A pair of magical gloves to restore his dexterity
A clean apron

Combat

AC 12 · HP 4 · 25 ft.

Barty is not a fighter. He will throw pouches of blinding flour or pungent spices to create an opening to escape, screaming for the city watch while he hides.

Bartleby Glimmerwhistle

Small humanoid (rock gnome), chaotic neutral
Armor Class12
Hit Points4
Speed25 ft.
Level0
STR
DEX
CON
INT
WIS
CHA
Saving ThrowsIntelligenceWisdom
SkillsSleight of HandStealthInsightCook's Utensils
SensesDarkvision 60 ft., Passive Perception 11
Languages
Common,
Gnomish
Gnome Cunning. Advantage on all Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws against magic.
Darkvision. Can see in dim light within 60 feet as if it were bright light.
Master of Scents. Can identify any common ingredient or poison by smell with an Investigation check of 12.

Actions

Rusty Paring Knife. Melee Weapon Attack: to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 4 () piercing damage.
Pepper Toss. Barty throws a handful of ground black pepper into the face of a creature within 5 feet. The target must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or be Blinded until the end of its next turn.

Reactions

Cower. When Barty is targeted by an attack, he can drop prone as a reaction, adding a bonus to his AC against that specific attack.

Services they sell

Information on the restaurant's security
Identification of poisons or strange ingredients
Schematics of the service tunnels

Rewards they can give

Information on the Archmage's favorite foods (leverage)
His silver spoon (if desperate)
A letter of introduction to a rival chef

Equipment

  • Stolen Cellar Key (key)An iron key that fits the back delivery door of the 3-storey restaurant.
  • Pouch of Rotten Meat (quest item)A foul-smelling parcel wrapped in oilcloth, magically treated to bypass simple scent-detection spells.
  • Saccharina (tool/keepsake)A high-quality silver spoon that Barty believes is sentient.

Possessions

Silver tasting spoon (worth 10gp)
Pouch of magically rot-accelerated meat
A notebook filled with the schedules of every delivery driver in the district
A small jar of pungent truffle oil (his only treasure)

Background

Ten years ago, Barty was the Sous-Chef at 'The Gilded Terrine.' During a banquet for a high-ranking Archmage, a grease fire broke out. Barty claims Chef Valerius deliberately tripped him, sending his hands into a cauldron of boiling sugar while Valerius stole the credit for 'saving' the kitchen from Barty's 'clumsiness.' Blacklisted and physically broken, Barty now watches the restaurant from the shadows, collecting secrets and waiting for the perfect moment to spoil Valerius's reputation.

Role in the story

An embittered quest-giver and source of local intelligence who provides the players with a method to infiltrate or sabotage the restaurant.

Faction
None: he is too paranoid to join the local Thieves' Guild.

Known connections

Jax: A street urchin who acts as Barty's runner and messenger.
Chef Valerius: Former mentor and current blood-enemy.
Old Marge: A local vegetable vendor who pities him and leaves 'bruised' produce near his crate.
Major secret · GM only
Minor secrets · GM only

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